Lately I've been thinking a lot about time. Days, hours, and minutes and how all of these small bits of time add up to weeks, months, and years which seem to pass faster and faster as I get older. Remember how summer vacation in elementary school used to feel like an endless, golden stretch of days? More than 2 months to do nothing but swim, have sleepovers, and ride bikes! And it all crept by at a deliciously glacial pace. Bliss.
Compare that to when I checked the mail last week and found our apartment lease renewal notice among the catalogs and credit card offers. I could hardly believe we were coming up on a year in New York. Yes, the boxes are unpacked and we do have pictures on the walls, but it still feels like we just moved in! Where did the time go?
I suppose what really got me thinking about time were the moments on our trip to Austria & Croatia, and more recently to Santa Barbara county, when I felt the simultaneous push-pull of exploration vs. relaxation. I wanted my feet to cover every square inch, to see it all and not 'waste' a second of our precious time. But, I also wanted to sit quietly, preferably with a cool glass of white or rosé in hand, and just feel the peace and beauty of our surroundings roll over me.
That conflict spills over into regular, real, non- vacation life too. There are so many things I want to learn, places I want to go, and experiences I want to have. I've talked before about some of my goals for 2014 and my desire to allow myself time to do ‘nothing’ like reading books. I suppose I’m hoping that by recording my efforts here that I’ll be a little more aware of when I need to let go and enjoy the relaxation moments or be more focused in the exploration times.
Which brings us to today, this afternoon is gorgeous and sunny – but I’ve been sitting in the park pecking away on my phone for the last hour writing this post. Time to hold myself to this little burst of insight. Time to bask, finish The Fault in Our Stars (excellent, by the way), and soak it all in.
*Fear of Missing Out